You are yourself..... But really are you.......????

Hey all,

This post is based on my recent experience. An experience in which my sister helped me realize a very important thing which I never even was aware of.

How many of you are a part of a group where there is someone whose life is so fabulous(or they really show like it is, and I bet you, they are very good at that) that you always wish your life was like that too? I am.

And I admit, I wasn't even aware I was thinking that way, and subconsciously trying to be like them. Basically I am an introvert person. I am most comfortable with not sharing my each and every daily routines with everyone. This too my sister helped me realize.

But UNFORTUNATELY!!!!. Yes I can not stress it anymore. Unfortunately I am a part of a group where not one but two people are so obsessed with sharing each and every detail of their life and trying to show how fabulous their life is. Initially, I was consciously influenced by them and did try to be like them. But I soon realized I am not like that and shied away from much interaction. But lo and behold, I got sucked into it all over again.

I started behaving like them subconsciously I was not even aware of it. And it became so much important for me to be like them, be one of them, being liked and accepted by them. This reminds me of the movie Mean Girls and yes, it doesn't only happen in high school.

And I would just leave my daily routines to chat with them. Somehow, subconsciously my aim in life was to project my life to be just as fabulous as their's.

But there were times when I was less than perfect. Since I have a bit of psychological history, at times I am not in one of my best moods. And my behavior on those times gave them a perfect excuse to tell me, "Dear we love you and care about you, but you are really sick!!!!". Reminds you of the 'Plastics' from Mean Girls? Yes it does.

And unfortunately, again, since my self esteem was based on their approval, it all shattered when they said something like this. I started behaving even more irrationally than I would have normally. I started becoming something I am not, at all.

Its like they were mentally controlling me. They could put me to the top of a mountain with just a 'Wow! It's so awesome!!!' and bury me deep in the ground by saying 'Oh my God, that's nonsense!!!'.

Why did I let me being controlled by such 'Plastics'. Why did I become that way??? Why did I gave all my power to them??? And also, who is to blame? Them, Me, or WhatsApp.???

Anyways, I guess no use blaming anyone for that. All I need to do is some damage control. Best way is to stay away from WhatsApp as much as I can.

Please remember to be yourself. Don't get influenced by the 'Plastics'. Just like the movie, their life is not so good as they project themselves. Most importantly, don't even bother about that, most important is to focus on yourself and yourself alone. It is okay not to be in a good mood. Nothing is wrong with that. Do not let them say it is sick. You have an amazing life yourself and you have got a perfect opportunity each second to make it even better. Do not let anyone take that away from you. You are good just as you are. Do not let anyone tell you anything other than that. And please do not turn into 'cold, hard, plastic' if you know you are not.

Disconnect to Reconnect...

Hey Everyone,

How many of you are spending most of your time in social networking sites???? How many of you are constantly busy with your smartphones and are not aware whatsoever, what is happening in reality... I just want to tell all you guys one thing.... You are not alone.... :P Even I was the same... Before my Transformationnnnn..... :D

But has anyone else noticed that being so much 'Virtually Social' is not helping your self esteem. In fact it is degrading your self esteem more and more. How many of you feel that you have started to crave more and more people's acceptance and appreciation to make yourself feel good?

OK. I am sure I am not the only one who has my hands raised here. :) Why does that happen? And that constantly being a part of someone else's life, why is it making me miserable?

Well I got my answer in the question itself. That's where the problem is. We are so much into someone else's life that we forgot we have a life of our own here too. So one of my friend is having a super fun girls night out with all her girlfriends and posting her pics, why am I here sitting and brooding over why I can't get to do that???? But do I actually need that? I mean I have a perfectly amazing husband here with whom I can have a perfectly awesome night or even day out. Do I really need so many girlfriends? May be she needs it because she feels lonely. And Hello, how many of her 'girlfriends' are actually a good friend huh??? They may be there only to have fun and click selfies to show the world how much fun they are having when in reality, they may be bitching about each other behind their back.

And while I am having fun with my husband, do I need to click a picture of each and every thing we do? Do I need people's approval to prove that I had fun? When in fact I wasn't even having fun because I was busy clicking and posting the pictures ignoring my husband and the time that we were spending together.

So Throw Away Your Smartphones!!!!! OK, don't actually do that. hee hee :D. But I have devised some steps how not to let them affect your life and have a lot of fun, for real.

1) Do not get sucked in, in their fabulousness which is just an illusion.

2) Do not interfere in other people's life. Do not go around texting, so what you did last night, post pics. Come on. Concentrate on your life, please.

3) It is not necessary to always give a feedback to everything they post. It is not necessary that you have to like whatever they post. You are free to dislike. And learn from facebook. It doesn't have a dislike option. Which tells you that when you dislike something you don't have to be vocal about it. There is a perfectly good option to ignore and be silent. Unless you are the kind of person who loves to praise others, well you can. But don't let it affect you in anyway.

4) Love yourself, Love your life. Its just as good as theirs.

5) Do not get carried away with those fabulous pictures they post of themselves. There are many filters in instagram you know. They might not be as half as good - looking as they do in their photos.

6) Do not have any expectations from anyone when you post something. As you are free to like or dislike, everyone else is. And there may be many reasons for them not to like your post or comment. Bad network, no net access, too busy to like or comment, or just plain, 'their choice'. Which doesn't, by the way decide, what you posted was good or bad. Number of likes or comments don't decide anything.

7) It is not your goal in life to be the most popular person on a social networking site. There are many other 'real' goals in life.

8) Do not think about any post once the window is closed.  Unless its a very funny joke which will make you laugh later. :D :D

9) Try and interact more with people in real life than virtually. I assure you it will be a lot more fulfilling.

Network Responsibly. ;)

Transformationnnn....

Hello All,

I am sure after reading this post you might think, is it the same woman who wrote the earlier post. Well I am. But I am Transformedddd..... Is it the right spelling?? :P

I have found the secret of happiness in life. Or I can say refound it?( Is that a word?). What I mean is I am different now. I feel different. I am starting to love myself... And started to have a lot of funnn.....

The secret is known to everyone. It is. Everyone use it in their life. You did, seriously. OK, enough of the 'suspense' and let me reveal it. It is ........... YOUR CHILDHOOD!!!!!!

Just go deep inside and remember,"How were you when you were just a kid?". Did you ever worry about depression, stress, my image, my self esteem. Hell NO!!!! I didn't even know the meaning of all those words. Did You???

Then why do we do it now? Where did we learn it from? We were happy when we were children because we were 'ourselves'. We didn't care of impressing someone, doing something for someone, making others happy, did we?

They say ignorance is bliss. Yes, it is. We weren't even aware we could make others happy with our behavior. But, in fact, that is the truth. We cannot make others happy. We cannot control how others feel, think, about them about, about you. Then why waste so much time in doing all that?????

You might say, 'It is expected from us now to behave in a certain way, back then there were no such expectations.' OK. But why so much pretensions??? Why do we have to be someone we are not???

You can do what you can but why worry about what you cannot do. You can love who you are, why hate what you are not. Everyone is different. Everyone is unique. Everyone is special. Now I know you might say, we have heard that everywhere. Then why don't you apply it.

I am not asking you to be act like a kid, but if you do want to act like an adult, act like you adult. Don't try to be someone else. You are not your mother, your friend, your colleague, your husband, etc. etc. and also they are not you. Enjoy who you are. because you are you. And don't expect them to be something they are not because they are they. ACCEPTANCE, my friend, of yourself, and of others make a looot of difference...

We never tried to change ourselves or others as a kid, why now. Enjoy everyone's uniqueness, enjoy your own uniqueness. My hair is not beautiful, who says??? Who defined beautiful??? Just because someone said straight long and shining hair is beautiful, does not mean it is. I am my own beautiful. My hair is short, frizzy, thin, but I love it. Because its a part of who I am. It is what makes me, me. If I get long luscious hair I wont be me anymore. And I don't want me to be not me.

If I am introvert, I don't like to talk to others much, big deal. Not everyone has to be bubbly, cheerful. And just because I don't talk much doesn't mean I am no fun. I am my own kind of fun. And there are people who love me just as I am and in fact find bubbly people irritating...

Shower love upon you generously. You deserve it!!!! You are awesome!!!!! Take out some time alone to be a kid again. Watch cartoons that you watched as a kid. Eat chocolates, and forget about the calories for once. enjoy all the things which you did as a kid for sometimes. Get in touch with your inner child, again. Love yourself, without the burden of being in charge of everything just for sometime....

Enjoy life, its amazing!!!!! :) :)