What is maturity?? Accepting life, moving on and enjoying the moment.

Hi all,

It's been a while since my last post. And there has been a whole lot of change since then. For starters I have a baby now. Yay!! 

I am now very busy with taking care of her but also have time to reflect on life, when she is asleep of course.

Having a baby changes you in ways you never imagine. You put your own insecurities, doubts, fears, lack of confidence aside and do the needful, just for your baby. You risk being ridiculed, judged, made fun of, everything if it is in best interest of your baby. Isn't it a great superpower. I should thank my girl a lot for it. Thanks baby. 😘

But it also makes me think, why didn't I have this confidence when I was doing a job, making a career? Why are we not that important for ourselves that we are ready to be judged only for our best interest? I don't know. I wish I knew. I wish I was like this before so that I could have been very successful career wise too.

Well, ifs and buts will always be there, however I can't change the past that's for sure. I would rather focus on the present and accept the past. I cannot go back to making my then career a succes but what I can do is be the best and the most successful mother that I can be to my baby.

I know to many this seems like a loser's statement because to many only career succes is real success however the reality is that success is subjective. Everyone's capacity is different. Some with high capacity can be excellent in their careers and excellent parents as well. Well kudos to you guys.👍

I believe most of the working parents fall in the middle section where they are okay in their careers and okay in parenting. Kudos to you too. You manage both fields and that's a big thing.

I fall in same middle category, with limited capacity, but without a proper 'career' to say. However much I wish to be successful career wise may be I am not meant to be. That doesn't mean I won't try, but as of now the only thing in front of me is my baby. Why not take this opportunity to be the best mother with my limited capacity. Why regret what didn't happen. Instead why not take a chance at what is there in my hands now. I sure don't want to regret this in future as I am regretting for my career now.

So as I said, I am ready to be judged, ridiculed, made fun of for being just a housewife,(which I may not be as I do plan to have some home businesses in future), not contributing financially, not being financially independent, depending on my husband, whatever. I don't mean to say I am the best but not everyone is meant to be everything. I can do what I can and just enjoy the moment with my baby. I may not enjoy celebrating my 10 yrs in an organization or getting a promotion. But I can sure enjoy telling a story to my toddler in a way that makes her giggle. Singing a lullaby that makes her sleep peacefully. Hugging her, kissing her for the nth time. Teaching her all the things I wish I knew when I was small. Well yeah, I have a productive life, may be not the best but good enough.

Things to remember in life!!!!

Hello,

I wanted to write this post based on what I have learnt till now. I am not the wisest person to write this. I am just in my twenties. But still would like to list down the things I have learnt till now. I know this is not a final list and hope there will be many more lists when I am in my 30's and 40's and so on.

1) Do not share your problems and your negative feelings with the people who are not 'very close' to you. Firstly they are not interested in negative things of your life and secondly, even if they say they are, they will not understand how you feel. You might risk being judged for it.

2) You are your own best friend, counselor, guide, motivational speaker, everything. Try not to go to other people for all these things. You can take help from others no doubt but do not get dependent on them always to make yourself feel good.

3) Just as junk food is bad for your physical health, negative thoughts are bad for your mental health. Avoid negativity of any kind to be mentally healthy.

4) Learn to enjoy your own company. Make a proper dinner for yourself, go out alone for a movie, or in a restaurant. Be your own partner and at times pamper yourself, the way you want your partner to pamper you. Learn to fall in love with yourself.

5) Trust the universe. You do not have to be in control all the time. Let the universe take control and just go with the flow.

6) Relax. All the time. Just relax in any situation, whatsoever.

7) Your capacity is always more than what you think, both physical and mental, on the condition that you do not create negative thoughts of any kind at all. Negative thoughts reduces your capacity considerably.

8) Find something you enjoy in every mundane and uninteresting task. Like for example, if you hate going for grocery shopping, tell yourself that you will treat yourself with your favorite snack when you are done with it, may be a burger or a sandwich or an ice cream. If you hate travelling to work think about all the beautiful sights you get to watch on your way to work, or all your favorite songs you get to listen to, or your favorite book you get to read.

9) Find a reason to enjoy your household chores too. If there is a big pile of work in front of you, try doing them in segments, a little at a time and relax or watch TV in between. And every time one portion of your work is done, pat yourself in the back. Try innovating, like if you have to make dinner, try thinking about how can I make something different or interesting and tastier. Or try new dishes altogether.

10) Get enough sleep. Always.

11) Meditate. I cannot stress benefits of it more than what has already done everywhere. It helps you get in touch with yourself, love yourself, be comfortable with yourself, be more relaxed, see things in the right perspective. When all this is achieved, you are bound to get healthier physically also.

12) Live in the moment. Avoid thinking of past or the future. I know it is impossible to completely avoid it but try minimizing thinking of past and the future and maximize staying in the present and enjoying it.

You are yourself..... But really are you.......????

Hey all,

This post is based on my recent experience. An experience in which my sister helped me realize a very important thing which I never even was aware of.

How many of you are a part of a group where there is someone whose life is so fabulous(or they really show like it is, and I bet you, they are very good at that) that you always wish your life was like that too? I am.

And I admit, I wasn't even aware I was thinking that way, and subconsciously trying to be like them. Basically I am an introvert person. I am most comfortable with not sharing my each and every daily routines with everyone. This too my sister helped me realize.

But UNFORTUNATELY!!!!. Yes I can not stress it anymore. Unfortunately I am a part of a group where not one but two people are so obsessed with sharing each and every detail of their life and trying to show how fabulous their life is. Initially, I was consciously influenced by them and did try to be like them. But I soon realized I am not like that and shied away from much interaction. But lo and behold, I got sucked into it all over again.

I started behaving like them subconsciously I was not even aware of it. And it became so much important for me to be like them, be one of them, being liked and accepted by them. This reminds me of the movie Mean Girls and yes, it doesn't only happen in high school.

And I would just leave my daily routines to chat with them. Somehow, subconsciously my aim in life was to project my life to be just as fabulous as their's.

But there were times when I was less than perfect. Since I have a bit of psychological history, at times I am not in one of my best moods. And my behavior on those times gave them a perfect excuse to tell me, "Dear we love you and care about you, but you are really sick!!!!". Reminds you of the 'Plastics' from Mean Girls? Yes it does.

And unfortunately, again, since my self esteem was based on their approval, it all shattered when they said something like this. I started behaving even more irrationally than I would have normally. I started becoming something I am not, at all.

Its like they were mentally controlling me. They could put me to the top of a mountain with just a 'Wow! It's so awesome!!!' and bury me deep in the ground by saying 'Oh my God, that's nonsense!!!'.

Why did I let me being controlled by such 'Plastics'. Why did I become that way??? Why did I gave all my power to them??? And also, who is to blame? Them, Me, or WhatsApp.???

Anyways, I guess no use blaming anyone for that. All I need to do is some damage control. Best way is to stay away from WhatsApp as much as I can.

Please remember to be yourself. Don't get influenced by the 'Plastics'. Just like the movie, their life is not so good as they project themselves. Most importantly, don't even bother about that, most important is to focus on yourself and yourself alone. It is okay not to be in a good mood. Nothing is wrong with that. Do not let them say it is sick. You have an amazing life yourself and you have got a perfect opportunity each second to make it even better. Do not let anyone take that away from you. You are good just as you are. Do not let anyone tell you anything other than that. And please do not turn into 'cold, hard, plastic' if you know you are not.

Disconnect to Reconnect...

Hey Everyone,

How many of you are spending most of your time in social networking sites???? How many of you are constantly busy with your smartphones and are not aware whatsoever, what is happening in reality... I just want to tell all you guys one thing.... You are not alone.... :P Even I was the same... Before my Transformationnnnn..... :D

But has anyone else noticed that being so much 'Virtually Social' is not helping your self esteem. In fact it is degrading your self esteem more and more. How many of you feel that you have started to crave more and more people's acceptance and appreciation to make yourself feel good?

OK. I am sure I am not the only one who has my hands raised here. :) Why does that happen? And that constantly being a part of someone else's life, why is it making me miserable?

Well I got my answer in the question itself. That's where the problem is. We are so much into someone else's life that we forgot we have a life of our own here too. So one of my friend is having a super fun girls night out with all her girlfriends and posting her pics, why am I here sitting and brooding over why I can't get to do that???? But do I actually need that? I mean I have a perfectly amazing husband here with whom I can have a perfectly awesome night or even day out. Do I really need so many girlfriends? May be she needs it because she feels lonely. And Hello, how many of her 'girlfriends' are actually a good friend huh??? They may be there only to have fun and click selfies to show the world how much fun they are having when in reality, they may be bitching about each other behind their back.

And while I am having fun with my husband, do I need to click a picture of each and every thing we do? Do I need people's approval to prove that I had fun? When in fact I wasn't even having fun because I was busy clicking and posting the pictures ignoring my husband and the time that we were spending together.

So Throw Away Your Smartphones!!!!! OK, don't actually do that. hee hee :D. But I have devised some steps how not to let them affect your life and have a lot of fun, for real.

1) Do not get sucked in, in their fabulousness which is just an illusion.

2) Do not interfere in other people's life. Do not go around texting, so what you did last night, post pics. Come on. Concentrate on your life, please.

3) It is not necessary to always give a feedback to everything they post. It is not necessary that you have to like whatever they post. You are free to dislike. And learn from facebook. It doesn't have a dislike option. Which tells you that when you dislike something you don't have to be vocal about it. There is a perfectly good option to ignore and be silent. Unless you are the kind of person who loves to praise others, well you can. But don't let it affect you in anyway.

4) Love yourself, Love your life. Its just as good as theirs.

5) Do not get carried away with those fabulous pictures they post of themselves. There are many filters in instagram you know. They might not be as half as good - looking as they do in their photos.

6) Do not have any expectations from anyone when you post something. As you are free to like or dislike, everyone else is. And there may be many reasons for them not to like your post or comment. Bad network, no net access, too busy to like or comment, or just plain, 'their choice'. Which doesn't, by the way decide, what you posted was good or bad. Number of likes or comments don't decide anything.

7) It is not your goal in life to be the most popular person on a social networking site. There are many other 'real' goals in life.

8) Do not think about any post once the window is closed.  Unless its a very funny joke which will make you laugh later. :D :D

9) Try and interact more with people in real life than virtually. I assure you it will be a lot more fulfilling.

Network Responsibly. ;)

Transformationnnn....

Hello All,

I am sure after reading this post you might think, is it the same woman who wrote the earlier post. Well I am. But I am Transformedddd..... Is it the right spelling?? :P

I have found the secret of happiness in life. Or I can say refound it?( Is that a word?). What I mean is I am different now. I feel different. I am starting to love myself... And started to have a lot of funnn.....

The secret is known to everyone. It is. Everyone use it in their life. You did, seriously. OK, enough of the 'suspense' and let me reveal it. It is ........... YOUR CHILDHOOD!!!!!!

Just go deep inside and remember,"How were you when you were just a kid?". Did you ever worry about depression, stress, my image, my self esteem. Hell NO!!!! I didn't even know the meaning of all those words. Did You???

Then why do we do it now? Where did we learn it from? We were happy when we were children because we were 'ourselves'. We didn't care of impressing someone, doing something for someone, making others happy, did we?

They say ignorance is bliss. Yes, it is. We weren't even aware we could make others happy with our behavior. But, in fact, that is the truth. We cannot make others happy. We cannot control how others feel, think, about them about, about you. Then why waste so much time in doing all that?????

You might say, 'It is expected from us now to behave in a certain way, back then there were no such expectations.' OK. But why so much pretensions??? Why do we have to be someone we are not???

You can do what you can but why worry about what you cannot do. You can love who you are, why hate what you are not. Everyone is different. Everyone is unique. Everyone is special. Now I know you might say, we have heard that everywhere. Then why don't you apply it.

I am not asking you to be act like a kid, but if you do want to act like an adult, act like you adult. Don't try to be someone else. You are not your mother, your friend, your colleague, your husband, etc. etc. and also they are not you. Enjoy who you are. because you are you. And don't expect them to be something they are not because they are they. ACCEPTANCE, my friend, of yourself, and of others make a looot of difference...

We never tried to change ourselves or others as a kid, why now. Enjoy everyone's uniqueness, enjoy your own uniqueness. My hair is not beautiful, who says??? Who defined beautiful??? Just because someone said straight long and shining hair is beautiful, does not mean it is. I am my own beautiful. My hair is short, frizzy, thin, but I love it. Because its a part of who I am. It is what makes me, me. If I get long luscious hair I wont be me anymore. And I don't want me to be not me.

If I am introvert, I don't like to talk to others much, big deal. Not everyone has to be bubbly, cheerful. And just because I don't talk much doesn't mean I am no fun. I am my own kind of fun. And there are people who love me just as I am and in fact find bubbly people irritating...

Shower love upon you generously. You deserve it!!!! You are awesome!!!!! Take out some time alone to be a kid again. Watch cartoons that you watched as a kid. Eat chocolates, and forget about the calories for once. enjoy all the things which you did as a kid for sometimes. Get in touch with your inner child, again. Love yourself, without the burden of being in charge of everything just for sometime....

Enjoy life, its amazing!!!!! :) :)

My war with my weaknesses...

If you are on a path of spirituality and self improvement you might know that you are constantly at war with your weaknesses. You are trying to make new habits, positive changes and your old habits come up again and again trying to fail you on your path of improvement. I just wanted to share my experience.

Recently I have been on my very best mental state. Have been doing Reiki meditation which has proved to be quite helpful with my rajyoga meditation which I do based on Rajyoga philosophy by the Brahmakumaris where you emerge your original values of knowledge, purity, peace, love,  happiness, bliss, power. All this has proved quite useful to me and to an extent have helped me to combat my old negative habits of comparison, expectation, jealousy, fear. Basically, from my experiences from both this meditation so far, I have understood that Reiki meditation helps the body and the mind and Rajyoga mediation helps the spirit. Just a disclaimer on both this meditation I have not learnt Reiki, just do it listening to guided meditation on youtube. But I do want to learn it and am searching for a good teacher to teach me. Rajyoga meditation I have learnt from the Brahmakumaris centres which are there almost at every place in the world. I like their philosophy and find it more logical than the other philosophies I have heard so far. With due respect to every religious and spiritual organisation. This being my own personal belief.

I have realized that it is possible to overcome all the other vices of lust, greed, anger, jealousy, attachment but the one vice that attacks you like a spy from the enemy, quietly, and that is ego or arrogance. And once you have been attacked by it, it opens up the door to all other vices too. Practicing meditation has made me very positive and I stay happy all the time enjoying everything in life. Which is always good but, it did made me subtly to think that I am superior to others just because I can enjoy each and every moment in my life and others can't. Weird right. Being egoless and humble should be the first thing you should learn when you are into spirituality, but may be because it would be my old habit, which was deep hidden somewhere in my consciousness. When I was able to overcome all the other vices it secretly attacked me somewhere, I didn't even realize. And I started thinking I know everything I have to know and do not need any of my spiritual advisers, guides, or anyone to help me out. My life is perfect being with myself and all the others whose life is not perfect are stupid enough not to know how to live life. Its such an horrible thought which I am realizing now while writing this thought. Especially when I know I was in their place once and still I think that way. Arrogance attacked me big time, and it opened the way to all the other vices to enter. And the worst part is it blinded me so much and worked behind my back that I didn't even realize what was happening.

I started behaving like before again but the difference was this time, instead of feeling guilty I started feeling whatever I was doing is right. I am in no way blaming any meditation practice. I take the blame myself. I lost against arrogance. It played well to defeat me. But the one thing you should never do is give up. If you fall, get up and fight again. The best part is I finally understood what was happening. Who betrayed me. I confused arrogance with pride. Now its clear. I will take some quiet time and reflect upon how to defeat arrogance. And I will do it now and replace it with compassion, understanding, humility. I am ready to fight again and God is with me. I will succeed. Amen..

Back to Nature... Back to Yourself....

A rose from my rose plant photographed by me.

Hello Everyone,

I wish you a very Happy Winter, Merry Christmas...

Christmas is always been very cheerful to me. Holidays, winter, sitting at home eating warm home cooked food and watching Christmas movies all day with family. Unfortunately I am married now and live in another city so can't do so. But even the memories of it makes me cheerful and warm.

In India, especially where I stay, there is nothing much in Christmas except someone dressing up like Santa comes to distribute chocolates. But I would love to visit some place where Christmas is celebrated properly and want to experience it once.

But my today's topic is different from Christmas, or festivals or holidays. Its about being in touch with your true self. Who am I?

Does that question ever come to your mind? Who am I? Am I really someone who is this person who runs behind achievement, success, maintaining relations, etc.? If so, why am I not comfortable or happy doing so? If this is not me, who am I exactly?

Trust me I am not suggesting that achievements in life are not important. But is that life is all about? Look around yourself and not with the same view of achievement and competition. Look around nature. Look at flowers and leaves and plants. They are so beautiful. They do their job of growing and withering and again growing so effortlessly. So why do we have to fill our life with so much effort, pressures, anxieties, etc.

The things which have to be done in your life will happen at their time. Yes we have to do our efforts and work but not with stress and pressure. And at times go into nature, it is really a good way to get in touch with your real inner self and reflect on what we actually want from life and how we have to achieve it. Take out time to do what makes you feel good, gardening, cooking, photography, etc. which helps you enjoy and be at peace. They are as important as the other things in life. Make time for yourself. Just 'Be' at times instead of 'Doing' all the time.

Rising Depression in Women - 2

As a continuation of my earlier post I would like to present to you another technique.

Much of our emotional turmoil is due to holding on to past and hurt from the past. It forms blockages in the natural flow of energy. To heal these blockages follow the below technique.

Sit or lie down comfortably. Make yourself as comfortable as possible. Breath deeply. Start from your head and imagine a white light coming from above, from God and reaching the top of your head. It enters your body and  your head, eyebrows, nose, mouth jaw feels loose and relaxed. The light travels further down. Your throat, chest, shoulders, arms, stomach feel relaxed. Let go of any tension. It travels further down to your thighs, knees, feet, ankles everything is relaxed and feels light. Your entire body is filled with white light and it feels light as a feather.

Imagine you are rising from your seat above rising, rising, light as a feather. You are rising up, up you can see your seat below you. Then your home. Then your city. You are rising up, up now you are in the clouds. You still travel up and now you are in space. You still travel up and now you enter a space completely filled with the same white light which filed your body earlier. Angels are floating in those space, beautiful, smiling. They welcome you, greet you. Then God comes in front of you. He is bright shining, powerful, filled with white light. God comes and takes you in his arms. You feel soo blissful, relaxed, peaceful you have never ever felt this way before. You feel secure, comfortable. You are in the arms of the most powerful God who is your supreme parent and you feel as comforted as you felt in the arms of your mother, but many times more than that.

Then God takes your hand and takes you to a peak of a mountain. You feel you are on top of the world peaceful, quiet, close to nature. He takes you further to a cave. There is a big wooden door in the cave. You push the door you cannot open it though. You look at God. He smiles and gives a gentle push to the door and it opens up. He takes you inside and there is an auditorium. There are seats on the both sides of the aisle.

You enter inside and you see few people inside. You come closer and you see that these are the people you know. On your right side there are people who have hurt you in the past. And on the left side there are people who have been hurt by you in the past. You first go to the right, You meet everyone one by one and you tell them whatever happened before I forgive you. I let go of my hurt. You hug each one of them one by one. You feel deep in your heart all the hurt is melting as you hug each one of them. You feel burden reducing from your heart and your feel lighter and lighter. Tears roll down your cheek as you feel your hurt melt away. You feel clear inside.

Now you go to the left side and again one by one you ask for forgiveness from them for whatever you had done to them. They smile and forgive you. You hug each one of them. You feel even more light and clear in your heart now. Tears roll down more and with those tears, all the burdens in your heart melt away.

Now you bid farewell from them and leave that auditorium  and then the cave with God. God takes you again to the peak of the mountain. He tells you to come here often to clear out any burdens in your heart. Then he gives you the most beautiful smile and you see you are flying away from God. He says I will always be there when you need me. You feel you are drifting away more and more and again you are in the clouds. Now you see yourself descending back to earth. You see your city below you and as you descend more you see your house, your seat and now again you are back to where you were sitting before. Now slowly open your eyes. As you open your eyes you feel you are completely different, more clear, relaxed, peaceful and happy.

Do this exercise at least once a day in the start. Once you feel more and more clear inside you may then do it once every 2-3 days, then a week. We need to let go of the unnecessary burdens we keep inside so as to allow free flow of energy in our consciousness. This is the first step in transforming yourself.

Rising Depression In Women!!!!

Hello all,

I know I am writing after a long time. My priorities were different. But let me assure you before that, what I am now is a completely different person than before.

I want to discuss what I have seen very often, recently in my closed friends and relatives. Rising trend of low self esteem, confidence and depression. It hurts to see my loved ones in such an emotional pain. And all of them are women, lovely smart, talented ones. Which led me to think what is the cause behind all this.

I had the privilege of discussing life with smartest of people I know who are very successful career wise as well as spiritually. I really thank God for sending them into my life.

The discussions led me to the cause of rising depression in my loved ones which include me also. And the reason is lack of male qualities.

Basically, men and women have their strengths and their weaknesses.
The qualities which are prominently strong in women are:
1) Gentleness
2) Empathy
3) Sensitivity
4) Tolerance

Whereas the qualities which are prominently strong in men are:
1) Courage
2) Independence
3) Assertiveness
4) Confidence

With the changing roles of men and women it has become necessary for both of them to possess the qualities of opposite sex also. I believe in a complete family where there is a mother and father and they both possess these qualities in perfection, the child will be a complete person with both masculine and feminine qualities which will help him/her to confront life and its challenges with ease.

Unfortunately very few families today are normal. Either male lack in male qualities and vice-versa. In many cases there is single parenthood exposing the child to only one aspect of qualities.

Whatever the reason may be, but me, myself being a woman have observed that male qualities are lacking in my loved ones which leads them to low self confidence, depression, etc. This is the end of causes now let's concentrate on the solution.

We have to put in new programming in the subconscious mind. Women's mind is naturally programmed with female qualities but they need to be programmed with the male ones too. The best way to do so is:

"Get a place where you are alone (and which is preferably sound proof). Write down all the things you WANT in you. For Eg. I am a most successful woman ever, I am the happiest woman in the world. Always write in superlative degree. Happiest, Luckiest, Most successful. Make sure your sentences are short enough that you can remember easily. Remember the subconscious is unable to understand long sentences. And don't use 'not' in your sentences. For eg. Instead of "I am not scared anymore", use "I am the bravest and the most courageous person." Now comes the fun part.

Stand up spine straight and shout out all these sentences with joy. Make fists and say, "Yes!!!!! I am the most successful woman in the world!!!! Yes!!! Yes!!!" Literally jump with joy while saying these. Repeat at least 10 times at a time.You may need to do this at least 10 times a day.

There are times you cannot get that privacy. Still you can do this. If you are in an office go to the washroom and just say these things in your mind and jump with joy in your mind. There should be JOY all along.

This might sound childish or you may think you are lying to yourself. But the opposite is true.You lied to yourself when you said your were not good enough, you were worthless, etc. This is the truth and you are removing the wrong programming and recording correct one over it.

I present this to you as a first aid to your depression. If your depression is deep and prolonged you may need to consult a psychiatrist and get medicines too. But I don't want other people to continue suffering like my loved ones. Be Happy and Enjoy Life Its Awesome!!!! I will be posting more such techniques in my further posts.

Ratatouille

Not everyone can become a great artist; but a great artist *can* come from *anywhere*.
This was the dialogue Ego says at the end of the movie Ratatouille. This is something we need to remind ourselves at times.


Many a times, we start doubting ourselves, can I do it. Am I good enough? Am I talented enough? 
That person is more educated than me, or more blessed than me. If he cant do it how can I?


Just remind yourself of the above mentioned dialogue. Not everyone can be great. So that person, in spite of his blessings and advantages over you, may be couldn't be great. But that doesn't stop you from being great. A great artist can come from anywhere. Even a rat (it was just in an animated movie, still a good metaphor) can be a good chef. If you think you cant do it, may be you are wrong. May be you do have it in you to be great. Give it a chance. If you are not you'll come to know. And if you are, well you wont regret not trying.

What's holding you down????

How many times do we think over all the weaknesses that we have and finally come to the conclusion, it is because of so and so in the past? Mostly it is the childhood, the environment that we were brought up in, our parents. And in many cases its more of blaming, mostly our parents. Why were they like that, why didn't they give us the love, support, appreciation, confidence? Why were they critical? If they would have given the support, love, etc. our life would have been better. It could be others too actually when it gets to complaining or blaming we come up with thousands of things from our friends, school, college to the country and the government.

I have to admit I was one of that. In fact I once talked to a counsellor regarding that too. It was regarding my parents and she said that just forgive your parents for whatever they were not able to give you because all parents cannot give everything. Well it worked for me to some extent, I mean I was not mad at them anymore but then the thought still stayed at the back of my mind that I am, unconfident or timid or slow or whatever because of them, it may be the genes too I thought. I let go of the anger but couldnt let go of the weakness which was more important.

I was sick and tired of not being confident or, with no good health or all the weaknesses that I have. Which finally gave me the answer to let go. I had mentioned this one before "If you want to fly, you have got to let go of the shit that holds you down." This was more of a trap where i was stuck which wasnt allowing me to fly. And I came up with an affirmation, " My present and future life is completely unaffected by my past" it could be wrong I mean, the truth may be that past does affect my present and the future but I want my subconscious to live in this lie. Because this lie will allow me to live me life all new each day without any regrets or without thinking what if I could have got this or done this. Without any blame to anyone, and looking at problems only in present tense and finding solutions, with whatever strenghts I have. Develeping all  the stengths that I want to have without thinking about why I didnt have them in the first place. This has really allowed me to to be free from the trap and take each day as it comes with new perspective.

If you too want to let yourself free from this trap try repeating the above affirmation everyday to yourself. Program your subconscious the way you want your present and future to be. Take your life and your mind in your hands. 

Secrets of a millionaire mind

I Just saw 6 part video of T. Harv Eker's Secrets of a Millionaire mind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeNAGoFSqno

It was really amazing. I just realised in how many ways I was thinking wrongly about wealth, not just wealth but success as a whole. What he said made complete sense, meaning wanting to be rich not always means you are greedy. It is what we are meant to be. Like one of the other motivational speakers, Bob Proctor said, "You were born rich", but forgot along the way that we are and started wasting our time in this limited mentality. Anyways, you are not alone. And it can be changed anytime. One of the steps is to watch the video and try following the steps mentioned. It is really motivating. Just try it.

Mr. A M Naik - A good CEO

Today's Economic Times had a special edition - Most Powerful CEOs. And I was at cloud nine. Wow, So many people to get inspired of. All of them are gems. I could consider Chanda Kochhar to me my icon as being a woman, she has made into top 5 of the most powerful CEOs. But the person who appealed to me the most was Mr.AM Naik, chairman and MD of Larsen and Toubro.

He appealed to me more because I have personally seen him and listened to him in an event. The event was spiritual, yet this big man, the MD of L&T  had come to share his views on it. It was like he was speaking straight from his heart, no show offs, no fake personality. Honestly not many knew him there as they were all ordinary people, many not so educated too. Yet he spoke and it was appealed to me. It sounded much more honest than the other film stars which had come there too to speak.

Today when I saw him in ET I was genuinely interested in knowing about him. I know only that much of him as much was mentioned in the paper. Which is that his father was not any corporate guy, but a freedom fighter and a school teacher. Yet he made it this far only because of his hard work which is evident from the fact that he never took a day off for the first 21 years of his career. Wow. Such dedication towards work is truly inspiring.
But his famous quote will give you the answer for his dedication, "L&T is my hobby, the rest is work."

Even today, when he is about to retire, at 70, he still works 14 hrs a day 7 days a week only to prepare the executives next in line to do the same great work he did. But even now, people in L&T say that the company wont be same without him.

I just hope, and inspire you too, that we enjoy our work just like him that we never feel like taking a day off. Obviously we have to give time to our family too but it would be better if we show even half of the passion he showed in his career. And I know its not possible for everyone to love their work but, we can try loving our work, taking it as a hobby. Its just a matter of perspective, how we look at our jobs nothing else. Because work is work, you make it interesting my your own input it wont make itself interesting.
After all what we make of our lives in in our hands.

Warren Buffett and concept of inner scorecard vs. outer scorecard

For those who don't know who Warren Buffett is, he is the world's most successful investor, second richest man in the world after Bill Gates.

The best part is, his personality is completely opposite to what should have been of the man who is so rich, he is very simple, lives in a small house in Omaha, the same house which he bought in 1955 for only $30,000. And yes he is only 81 yrs old. Still no plans for retirement.

I would like to share with you one of his beliefs. Yes this belief, I admit, I dont follow, I should follow. Ok ok, I am not a big Wise old woman, just another girl like you who is also on her path to learn things about life.

So his belief is as follows:
"If the world couldn't see your results, would you rather be thought of as the world's greatest investor but in reality have the world's worst record? Or be thought of as the world's worst investor when you were actually the best?"

Those who answer the latter have an inner scorecard. They'll have the ability to be a true contrarian, ignoring the world's judgment and focusing on long-term results.

Very simple sounding, but difficult to follow as we are constantly in the need of others approval, others respect. Its a subtle form of ego. We want to feed the self esteem based on others opinion, rather than developing it ourselves. How could we be great if we have such thinking. If i want to be Warren Buffett, since he is my ideal, I will have to let go of this ego. He works for the love of his work, and not to earn money. And the fact that he donated 31 billion dollars to Bill and Melinda Gates charity is the proof of it. Do we work for money, other people's approval and respect or for the love of it?

Micheal Jackson - The Legend

There is no need to introduce the legendary Micheal Jackson to you. I believe in terms of music he is most amazing person who ever existed. Its like he casts a magic spell when we listen to his songs. At least thats the case with me.

I am not going to discuss his personal life at all. Its just too messed up as it is. I just want to discuss Micheal Jackson - the performer. And what a performer he was. Greatness in action.

When I was a kid, I didn't understand a word what he sang. I didn't understand music as such, let alone western music. But I still remember watching his videos of Black or White, Remember the time, and my favorite back then was Will you be there, because it was from the Free Willy soundtrack and I liked that movie, and specially waited till the end to watch that song.

When I was a teenager, we had this collection of english songs which I got from my cousin. That was a very very rough time of my life and I remember listening to his songs which helped me deal with those rough days. I especially liked They don't care about us. Well in a way, it helped me to release my frustration.

When I grew up I had completely forgotten about him when suddenly we heard news about his death. All of the sudden, Micheal Jackson was the only name on everyone's lips. It was like all of a sudden everyone remembered him and his songs. Well that was a case with me too, to be honest. I started collecting more and more songs of him, and the more I listened to them, the more I got addicted to him. I suddenly realized his music was like no one else, because by that time I had listened to a lot of music. His music was like anyone could connect to it, wasn't a particular genre or something, just good songs.

I started collecting his videos too, and was mesmerized with his stage performances, marveled more on the audience reactions to it. And I thought there is something in this guy, really which is different from others. This thin frail looking guy can get the attention of the entire world, what was it?

It was the charisma, it was his stage presence, it  was the kind of energy he poured into every performance which very few performers do. When we see others performing, it feels as if they are doing it just for the money but when he does it, he does it for the performance itself. It is quite obvious because as you know, in every performance, he tried to do something more extravagant than its earlier one.

Then I saw the movie This is it. And I could see in it how much perfection he sought for in each and every song. From the tempo, to a single beat, to a single dance move, every thing he wanted to be perfect. Thats the way we ought to do our work right. I am not saying everyone to be a pop star. But whatever we love to do, we must do with the same amount of dedication. Right?

And behind the perfection in his performance, there isn't any luck or God's gift, but a tremendous amount of hard work. His personal life was messed up, as you know. But still his passion for his work never faded because of it. And as you know, at the age of 50 too, a frail, thin, weak man was going to do such a huge performance all over the world.

Do we have that passion for our work? Can we for once, just forget about our messed up personal lives, I am sure it isn't as messed up as his, and just concentrate on doing great work. Or are we still giving excuses that so and so things in my life is not ok. If we could do that I am sure we could get such a great success, fame and everything we wish for.

People don't become great due to their work, but they become great due to their dedication, will power and attitude towards their work, which obviously lead them towards doing such great work. Are we willing to have such dedication towards our work like Micheal Jackson???

Steve Jobs - Belief in yourself.

Steve Jobs.

I think every self help book will have this topic to be its first. Believe in yourself. Because thats the starting point.

I will discuss the same but I think it becomes easier to understand and apply this if we have someone real in front of us who has done the same to become great. At least that's what worked with me.

Steve Job's belief in himself was extraordinary to an extent it became arrogance. Well I don't suggest you to be arrogant and yes every great individual isn't perfect. But that extraordinary belief in himself and what he did made him what he was. He believed in himself and his ideas to such and extent that sometimes he would start believing what was not there in the reality. A phenomenon which they call as reality distortion. I believe some amount of reality distortion is necessary to motive ourselves. Because just looking at the reality, and looking at not so good conditions in out life in the present, you will be rather demotivated. And thats not we want to do.

Every thing which was ever invented in this world started with a thought. But just a thought was never enough. A deep belief in what you want to do, or to be specific what you can do, made you do wonders. If anyone who might have seen Kung Fu Panda, might know what the central theme, or the moral was in that movie. It was, "There is no secret ingredient, its just you." And your belief in yourself. We feel as if people like Steve Jobs or any other successful person has some secret ingredient that we don't have. But the line from the movie is 100% true in any case. There is no secret ingredient that made them do great things, there is just belief in themselves.

This belief can come only if we are 100% positive towards ourselves. Our self esteem should be high. No single line of negativity towards ourselves, whether in words or even thought must come. It is difficult, we might have to try again and again since we are so conditioned into thinking negative first. But whenever a negative thought comes in our mind, immediately replace it with positive. If it is "I cannot do that", immediately replace it with "I can do anything". Say it to yourself again and again " I can do anything" around 10 times each day. It would work more better if you keep the company of God with you in your mind whenever you do this exercise. You might add a line of being grateful to God for making you so amazing that you can do anything. People like Steve Jobs might be born with a high self esteem but even if we aren't, we can develop it anytime.

Firm belief in yourself, a big step towards reaching your goals. Once you have that firm belief, the further steps become a lot easier. 

A technique for reducing your mental weight.

I would like to share with you today a technique which will help you to reduce your burden. I had read somewhere, "If you want to fly, you got to let go of the shit that holds you down". And since this blog is dedicated to better living, this technique should be applied in order to let go of the burden, so that you become light and move ahead with more energy.

This technique is apologizing for your mistakes. I know I have not revealed some big secret. But these simple things which we were taught in the childhood too, but forgot to apply when we grew up, will help you to be better.

To know what you have to apologize for, you have to let go of any ego and be brutally honest with yourself. Come on, it doesn't even make sense to lie to yourself. You are already naked in front of yourself and that should be the way. Sit quietly with yourself. Talk to yourself as if you were talking to a very very close friend whom you can trust with any of your dark secrets. Don't be afraid of yourself its just you, You wont judge yourself.

Think of anything, any event of past, any behavior of yours which was hurtful to someone, and which you denied as your own fault but actually it is eating you away inside. It is our tendency to defend ourselves in everything and always put the blame on others. Thats why I said you have to be brutally honest with yourself. I am sure you will find more than one incident or behavior of yours which in someway or the other, hurt someone.

After you do find such things, please please do not go into the guilt of making that mistake. It is ok, first and foremost forgive yourself for those things. We are only human, we all make some or the other mistakes. It is a part of the past which you cannot change. You are a better person now. We just need to close that matter once and for all, forever. That is why we are doing this exercise.

Next step you do is, apologize that person for those things. It needs courage, but having that courage for that time is worth it, which will benefit you both, and make your life better from now on. Tell him/ her honestly about all the things you feel you did wrong to them, and sincerely apologize to them. In many cases, the person may no longer be with you, may be due to death, or any other reason. What you can do is, meditate, and while you do so, bring that soul in front of you, and in presence of God, apologize to him/ her. We all are souls, energy. And nothing, nor distance nor death can come between us in if we want to genuinely communicate. Your vibrations will reach that soul and will benefit you both. And that burden will be released.

Your job is over. You might wonder how that person will react, whether he/she will forgive me or not. Well thats their problem not ours. When we apologize, we are clearing out our burden and any negative energy we have for that soul. And whether that person will do the same for him/herself, rests on him/her. You are clear inside and ready to move on with your life with new energy. 

Steve Jobs, First Step - Find what you love.

Steve Jobs had this clear in mind what he wanted. Even after he was out of Apple, the thought of what he wanted to do in his life was crystal clear. He wanted to be an innovator, he wanted excellence. And he wanted that in the field of computers. which urged him to start NeXT after leaving Apple, to continue with his purpose.

He was so focused on that purpose, that money, or any other possessions didn't matter to him. In fact, he believed that the less possessions, the better which came from his buddhist philosophy. And it is true, since many a times we lose focus from our purpose, ours goals due to the need to have more possessions and more money. Mind you, if your focus is earning money, it wont work because thats not a good purpose. Everyone has a passion, and that passion should be based on your talent and your creativity. And it should be beneficial to all including yourself of course. That passion should be your purpose.

Steve Jobs was so focused on his purpose that at times he ignored his family. I would not advise you to follow him on this part because family is just as important in life as your work. Because it wont make any sense if you are the most successful person in the world and you don't have anyone to share that with.

Find your purpose in life. What makes you happy, what excites you? What makes you get out the bed and work? What makes you so engrossed that you lose track of time? What is it which you can do for hours and still don't feel tired of it?

Find that purpose, forget about whether I can do it or not, whether people will approve it or not. Steve Jobs never cared what people thought of him, whether they laughed at him or thought his ideas were completely crazy. Many of them were crazy when he first discussed about them but they did come true, iPad sounded crazy at first but it did came out and became such a big hit. Find your passion, without caring about what the world might think about it. And go ahead with it. Success follows excellence. And you can be excellent if you work with all your heart and soul. And that you can do only if you are doing what you love. 

Steve Jobs

My first post is on Steve Jobs mainly because I am reading his biography. I would like to tell you what I learned from him my way. I would love to hear from you, what you learned from him in case you are into Steve Jobs too.

I have read his biography in bits and pieces. But I have seen the movie 'Pirates of the Silicon Valley'. I would recommend everyone to see it once especially the ones thinking of entrepreneurship. It shows to what extent you need to be passionate about your goals and visions and to what extent one should be ready to go to achieve them.

The movie shows the personalities of both, Steve Jobs and Bill Gates. I would post about Bill Gates too later but since this post is about Steve Jobs I will stick to his personality.

The burning desire, not just burning, a raging desire for innovation can be the caption to describe Steve Jobs' personality. Even before people knew about computer, personal computers to be specific, he knew that is what people want. I remember once when he was asked about market research he said he considers it useless because 'People don't know what they want'. Certainly, did we know that we wanted and iPhone or an iPad before it was launched? He had the capability to think beyond what is visible.

That is one of the characteristics of a great individual, to think beyond. But it is easy for us to say, yes he is Steve Jobs, he can do it, I can't, I am an ordinary person. Well you are right if you think so or otherwise. What I mean is, if you believe you are ordinary, you will stay ordinary which will prove you right. But if you think otherwise like, if Steve Jobs can do it, so can I, you would be right even then. After all, we both are humans born in the same world with the same capabilities.

Please, before moving forward with Steve or anyone else I would really want you to have this consciousness. Because just reading about great people won't do you good. I would suggest you to have the consciousness that even I was born great, now I have to learn how to do it, and such people will be my guide on that. That is my basic motive behind writing this blog.

More on Steve Jobs in coming days.

Introduction

Hi everyone,

My name is Shruti Parghi from India. Through this blog I wish to share with you about the people who inspire me and who teach me, my own experiences and learnings, and anything related to inspiration or motivation. I wish the people reading this blog will definitely benefit from it.