What is maturity?? Accepting life, moving on and enjoying the moment.

Hi all,

It's been a while since my last post. And there has been a whole lot of change since then. For starters I have a baby now. Yay!! 

I am now very busy with taking care of her but also have time to reflect on life, when she is asleep of course.

Having a baby changes you in ways you never imagine. You put your own insecurities, doubts, fears, lack of confidence aside and do the needful, just for your baby. You risk being ridiculed, judged, made fun of, everything if it is in best interest of your baby. Isn't it a great superpower. I should thank my girl a lot for it. Thanks baby. 😘

But it also makes me think, why didn't I have this confidence when I was doing a job, making a career? Why are we not that important for ourselves that we are ready to be judged only for our best interest? I don't know. I wish I knew. I wish I was like this before so that I could have been very successful career wise too.

Well, ifs and buts will always be there, however I can't change the past that's for sure. I would rather focus on the present and accept the past. I cannot go back to making my then career a succes but what I can do is be the best and the most successful mother that I can be to my baby.

I know to many this seems like a loser's statement because to many only career succes is real success however the reality is that success is subjective. Everyone's capacity is different. Some with high capacity can be excellent in their careers and excellent parents as well. Well kudos to you guys.👍

I believe most of the working parents fall in the middle section where they are okay in their careers and okay in parenting. Kudos to you too. You manage both fields and that's a big thing.

I fall in same middle category, with limited capacity, but without a proper 'career' to say. However much I wish to be successful career wise may be I am not meant to be. That doesn't mean I won't try, but as of now the only thing in front of me is my baby. Why not take this opportunity to be the best mother with my limited capacity. Why regret what didn't happen. Instead why not take a chance at what is there in my hands now. I sure don't want to regret this in future as I am regretting for my career now.

So as I said, I am ready to be judged, ridiculed, made fun of for being just a housewife,(which I may not be as I do plan to have some home businesses in future), not contributing financially, not being financially independent, depending on my husband, whatever. I don't mean to say I am the best but not everyone is meant to be everything. I can do what I can and just enjoy the moment with my baby. I may not enjoy celebrating my 10 yrs in an organization or getting a promotion. But I can sure enjoy telling a story to my toddler in a way that makes her giggle. Singing a lullaby that makes her sleep peacefully. Hugging her, kissing her for the nth time. Teaching her all the things I wish I knew when I was small. Well yeah, I have a productive life, may be not the best but good enough.

Things to remember in life!!!!

Hello,

I wanted to write this post based on what I have learnt till now. I am not the wisest person to write this. I am just in my twenties. But still would like to list down the things I have learnt till now. I know this is not a final list and hope there will be many more lists when I am in my 30's and 40's and so on.

1) Do not share your problems and your negative feelings with the people who are not 'very close' to you. Firstly they are not interested in negative things of your life and secondly, even if they say they are, they will not understand how you feel. You might risk being judged for it.

2) You are your own best friend, counselor, guide, motivational speaker, everything. Try not to go to other people for all these things. You can take help from others no doubt but do not get dependent on them always to make yourself feel good.

3) Just as junk food is bad for your physical health, negative thoughts are bad for your mental health. Avoid negativity of any kind to be mentally healthy.

4) Learn to enjoy your own company. Make a proper dinner for yourself, go out alone for a movie, or in a restaurant. Be your own partner and at times pamper yourself, the way you want your partner to pamper you. Learn to fall in love with yourself.

5) Trust the universe. You do not have to be in control all the time. Let the universe take control and just go with the flow.

6) Relax. All the time. Just relax in any situation, whatsoever.

7) Your capacity is always more than what you think, both physical and mental, on the condition that you do not create negative thoughts of any kind at all. Negative thoughts reduces your capacity considerably.

8) Find something you enjoy in every mundane and uninteresting task. Like for example, if you hate going for grocery shopping, tell yourself that you will treat yourself with your favorite snack when you are done with it, may be a burger or a sandwich or an ice cream. If you hate travelling to work think about all the beautiful sights you get to watch on your way to work, or all your favorite songs you get to listen to, or your favorite book you get to read.

9) Find a reason to enjoy your household chores too. If there is a big pile of work in front of you, try doing them in segments, a little at a time and relax or watch TV in between. And every time one portion of your work is done, pat yourself in the back. Try innovating, like if you have to make dinner, try thinking about how can I make something different or interesting and tastier. Or try new dishes altogether.

10) Get enough sleep. Always.

11) Meditate. I cannot stress benefits of it more than what has already done everywhere. It helps you get in touch with yourself, love yourself, be comfortable with yourself, be more relaxed, see things in the right perspective. When all this is achieved, you are bound to get healthier physically also.

12) Live in the moment. Avoid thinking of past or the future. I know it is impossible to completely avoid it but try minimizing thinking of past and the future and maximize staying in the present and enjoying it.